Finding Honour Spencer
One day I realised I was running on empty. Don’t get me wrong, I built a career based on confidence, but being in the adult industry wasn’t just about showing up and doing the job. It’s about constantly managing the emotional weight, the judgment, the on-the-go lifestyle, and it’s a lot. By the time I was approaching my mid-20s, I felt like I was losing touch with who I was outside of the work. That’s when I made the scariest but best decision of my life at that time. I took a gap year…
At first, I thought, “Am I even allowed to do this?” “What will happen to my career? Will I just become obsolete?” But honestly, that’s exactly why I needed to. My job had become my whole identity, and I wanted to remind myself of who I was beyond the screen. I had a plan, to build a custom “one-off” campervan, setoff for the unknown and live by a promise to follow whatever felt right. I started traveling, not to escape but to reconnect. I spent months in small towns and captivating open landscapes throughout Europe, soaking in new experiences without the pressure to share every moment. Somewhere along the way, I rediscovered what made me “me”. I remembered that I’m allowed to set boundaries, that it’s okay to take time for myself, and that my worth isn’t tied to how much money I make or how well I perform in my job, i don’t need to constantly compete to keep myself relevant in the modelling world.
This experience isn’t just for people in my line of work, it’s for anyone who feels like life is moving faster than they are. Whether you’re in a corporate job, running a small business, or chasing a creative dream, we all deserve time to pause and ask ourselves what truly matters. Taking that gap year didn’t just help me find myself again, it helped me build a stronger, healthier relationship with my career. I came back with a clearer sense of purpose and, most importantly, a deeper love for myself. If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, I promise, it’s okay to step back. You’re not giving up, you’re giving yourself room to grow… for me, when I returned I reconnected with my passion for horses and make a solid commitment to dive in feet first in starting “Miss May Lingerie” and just go for it.
To every woman out there, never let the world define you. Never stop fighting for your dreams, and never apologise for being who you are. Life may throw you unexpected detours, but those twists and turns can lead to a place where you stand taller, shine brighter, and live fully as yourself.
Honour x
